Be yourself.

i dont even know where to begin. yeah, yesterday was a wonderful day. but honestly, i’m still hurt. i’m still jealous, i’m still upset, and i’m still frustrated. that saturday, i don’t even know. i was just shot down. my self-esteem went down the drain. it hurts a lot because it’s coming from you. how could you say “i’m sorry i’ve been acting this way, it’s because i miss ______” really?! like wtf. how am i suppose to react to that? i wanna stay, but i don’t wanna be hurt. aren’t you suppose to be the one to bring my self-esteem up. i understand she has everything any guy could ask for.. but didn’t you choose me? are you forgetting about me slowly? do you wanna go back to her? by all means, go ahead. if you’re gonna end up hurting me in the future by leaving me, i rather you do it now. but honestly, what’s wrong with me? i know that i can be a bit handful, but what girl isn’t at times? i spoil you, i buy you everything that you want and need, i’m there for you everytime even when you don’t need me. i wanna know what i did wrong. what did i do to deserve how i’m feeling right now? do you even want me? you claim you do.. but i don’t know if i should believe you or not because you’ve kept your little secret from me for a while even when i asked you if you wanted to tell me something. i just don’t know what to believe anymore. and that’s really bad at this point. i’m stuck. i’m confused. you don’t know how bad i really wanna be with you.. i’m risking my own happiness for you.. but i guess you just don’t see things how i see it. you know why? its because you’re starting to care only for yourself, and not me anymore.. the only way i could ever get your attention is if i’m sad or mad. why am i still trying? oh yeah, it’s because i still love you. i wanna prove to you that i’m not gonna give up on you. you’re the only guy i’ve really wanted to be with through everything. i mean with everything that we’ve been through, i never wanna throw “us” away. just please, hear me out.. i wanna get back to the way things were before.. is that just too much to ask? :/