Be yourself.

All you guys do not do shit. You’ll only do shit when something drastic happens, which is now. But now that everything is calmed down you go back to the same habits. You know he is not gonna be able to do the same stuff he used to do before, which breaks my heart. But you guys can’t just sit there and act everything is gonna be okay. Before, he used to do all the work, cleaning the carpets, yard work, clean the bathrooms, work to pay the house, collect bottles/cans for extra money. What now? He can barely walk w/o a walker and he is not as strong. You guys aren’t going to your part and help out? Yeah, you guys visit him in the hospital because you care and wanna take care of him. But that’s it. What about the house we all live in? Now that my grandma is always at the hospital, you guys have no food right? Go learn how to cook. So what if you don’t know how to cook anything.. there’s recipes online. Might as well use the internet for more than just fb, twitter, tumblr, etc. I try to find the time to balance out everything. You guys are not as busy as I am. Here I am, trying to look for another job so I could help out with the bills/payments, driving my grandma anywhere she needs to go, driving you guys to school, trying to find my motivation to stay in school and do go, trying to cope with everything that’s going on. There’s so much emotions I go through every day since the day my grandpa went into the hospital. You guys always find an excuse not to do something (ie. homework, cotillion practice, “no one told me to do ____”) I have homework also, hella more than yours. and you, youre out of highschool and you don’t do shit unless you’re told to. Be a fuckin’ man, you’re a fuckin’ adult now. I’m more mature than you are. Go get your fuckin GED and get a job. Learn how to fuckin’ drive so I’m not the only one driving your little siblings around. I should get gas money for all the times I’ve driven them. They’re not my concern. I’m not your fucking nanny. Don’t give me no damn attitude. You guys made everything so stressful since you guys came here. Yeah you guys have the good mentality for my grandpa, but HELLO!?!??! What about my grandma? You guys don’t give her some slack. So what if she yells at you all the time?! That means you guys need to change your fucking act and suck it up. One of these days, I swear, I’m gonna draw the line. It’ll be my fuckin’ decision to kick you guys out the house. At this rate, if you don’t find a job, and if your dad does not help out with the fuckin’ payments, I will not fuckin hesitate to kick you guys out. Once your mom and little brother are here, YOU’RE OUT. Your dad has hella money, you guys could go find a decent apartment. I don’t give a fuck about what you guys think b/c your mentality for this whole family is fucked up. I do not know what else to do. I’m stuck. I’ve already given up my passion just so I could help out. I’m already thinkin of independent study, just so I could help out. I’m giving up so much of my life, but yet, you guys can’t give up an hour or two of your lives just to help me, my grandma, and my grandpa especially. Some people..

Another side note, wear your own fucking clothes. I let you wear mine, but you throw them fuckin’ anywhere and I can’t find anything. You claim a long-sleeved black v-neck is yours, but it’s mine. So don’t be bitchin’ at me if you can’t find a certain clothing. Cause 90% of the clothes you wear and that are in our room, are MINE. So stop bitchin’ if you can’t find shit or I wanna wear the outfit your wearing. Nigga -_- oh yeah, one more thing, STOP TAKIN’ YOUR SWEET ASS TIME IN THE MORNING! shit. one of these days, i’m gonna leave you. and i’m not gonna give a fuck. cus my concern in the house is me, my grandma, and my grandpa.